“How could I possibly be pregnant with twins, given that I have two toddlers at home and a full-time job? Twins don’t run in our families. However, during a sonogram, a potential second heartbeat was detected, and I ended up on a cold metal table, where a new doctor bluntly informed me that I was actually having triplets – three heartbeats in total.”
A few months later, we received the news that our triplets were actually identical. It was at this point that my concerns about what car we would drive or whether we would ever have the opportunity to go out to dinner or on vacation again disappeared. My focus shifted to hoping and praying that all three babies would be born healthy. I remember pleading with God, asking that they each have 10 fingers, 10 toes, healthy hearts, and good eyesight – I just wanted them to be okay.
We were incredibly fortunate that all three babies were born healthy and did not require any time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). It’s hard to believe that 10 years have passed since then, and our three little boys – who beat odds of about 100 million to one – will be celebrating their 10th birthday this year on October 10th. In honor of their milestone birthday, here are ten tips that have helped us survive the challenges of raising identical triplets.
It’s important to celebrate the unique qualities of each of your identical triplets, and one way to do that is by dressing them differently so you can tell them apart. We started doing this from day one, painting each boy’s big toenail a different color – one red, one blue, and one green. Sometimes their pedicures were better than mine! But it helped us differentiate between them, and we still do it to this day. Despite their similar appearance, they have distinct personalities and preferences. We’ve now opted to dress them in red, blue, and green shirts to further help distinguish them.
Always have a plastic bag – or three – with you when leaving the house. While they may not be environmentally friendly, they are incredibly useful for a range of situations, from storing dirty diapers to containing vomit in the backseat of the minivan. Yes, we now drive a minivan, which is a practical choice when raising triplets.
Be prepared for unexpected comments and have a response ready. People may ask if your children are triplets, if you used in vitro fertilization, or even express their shock and disbelief. You can choose to politely nod, smile, and walk away, or respond with “Yes,” “No, we didn’t,” and “Not at all – it’s a blessing!” respectively. Remember to remain courteous and then disengage from the conversation.
Make sure to get outside of the house, regardless of how long it takes to get your children’s jackets on or the weather conditions outside. Even if you spend less time outdoors than it takes to prepare, it’s still worth it. Fresh air can benefit both you and your children and help them sleep better.
Be patient with potty-training and don’t rush to remove Pull-Ups too soon. It’s not an easy process, especially with triplets. And if you think you’ve successfully potty-trained them, but then they have an accident in a public place, don’t worry. Just gather your things and leave a generous tip before leaving. Also, avoid going back to that place. Trust me, it’s for the best.
For parents of twins or triplets, highchairs can serve as a substitute for playpens. Playpens can result in the kids hitting each other with toys or other items left inside for their entertainment. Highchairs, on the other hand, may lead to the children yelling “STUCK!!!” when left in there between meals, as ours did. Nevertheless, it will help declutter your home after extended high chair “playtime,” which can be a relief for parents.
When your triplets start kindergarten, enroll them in separate classes. On the first day, expect them to resist and cling to you like they want to go back to the womb. Learn from my mistake and wear pants on that day, as they may try to hide under your skirt. It’s important to separate them because it’s not fair to expect a teacher to differentiate between identical triplets while teaching basic subjects. It’s better for their education and well-being to be in separate classes.
When you have triplets, enlist the help of your other kids even if they resist. Assigning simple tasks can be a huge help. Our 2-year-old held the triplets’ bottles while our 4-year-old matched socks. Now, all five of them help with household chores like laundry, walking the dogs, doing dishes, and taking out the trash. It’s amazing! Who said having five kids is difficult?
Take the time to listen to your children, no matter how young or old they are. They have big emotions and are their own individuals. Show them empathy and be present with them. While it may not always be easy, it’s important to prioritize this because you may regret not doing so later on.
Don’t rush through the tough times. It can be overwhelming, especially when you have five kids under five and all the chaos that comes with it. But don’t wish it away. Focus on the moments in between and cherish them. Before you know it, they will be grown up and you’ll wonder where the time went. So make the most of every moment.